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Manny <3

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it hurts [May. 4th, 2006|09:07 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |depresseddepressed]

why are people stupid? why do we do things that we will hate ourselfs for, but we still do them?

i miss him. I miss him so much it's crazy. All I wanna do is hold him and love him. I didn't think I could love him the way I do so I thought I was lieing to myself. When I wasn't lieing to myself, it was real. But the moment I realized that it was over. And I was alone...hurt...cold...nothing.

I'd cry but I don't have the time. I'm filling my life up with a lot right now. I watch Haiden all the time and Riley too. They feel like my own kids a little.

Everyon'e is happy. Everyone is together. There are smiles everywhere I go. It must be true.

Signed
lonely.


God Chris I am so sorry. I love you so much. I'm killing myself over you!!
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(no subject) [Apr. 23rd, 2006|09:17 am]
Manny <3
[mood |melancholymelancholy]

I slept with Craig...I am a fucking idoit. I'm so stupid.

I miss Chris. I miss Emma. All my friends have left me. :(

I've been babysitting though. Lately, but now that Jess is back I don't believe that, whatever. Haiden and I get along. I grabbed some of my toys out of my basement and we play with them. It hurts to see her because I could have had that, ya know. All these babies around makes me crazy I guess.

But anyways, I got a job. Yes, I work at Dippin' Dots at the mall now. Yeah, it kind of sucks but it's the only place I could find. And I get free dots. So...I get ice cream of the future. Word.


Chris and I never talk anymore, it sucks. He'll be online, but it's like I can't say hi to him. I didn't mean to sleep with Craig..it just happened. It was...bad. I told him I loved him too. Which, a part of me still does. Paige is gonna kill me.
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(no subject) [Apr. 5th, 2006|10:20 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |worriedworried]
[music |P!AtD]

I'm after you..you bitch.

Darcy is gonna die...I can't believe she said that. It's not true...he almost raped me.

So, I hate people.

And Emma isn't making anything better.

Whatever- everyone stay the fuck away from my boyfriend. I love him more than any of you. And Darcy? Tell your husband to fucking leave me alone. K? K.

I get my tests back today..there could be something wrong with me and my..cycle. Yeah..I'm freaked out. I haven't told Chris yet. I hope he isn't pissed at me. I'm so scared Craig gave me something when he..yeah. I didn't want to, I told him to fuck off. Whatever.

Emma- I miss you. Talk to me!
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2006|11:42 am]
Manny <3
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

I always forget this thing. oh well

I got a babysitting job. 4 kids, all under 11. I get 10 dollar a kid, it's pretty swell. I like working with kids, it's fun! It reminds me of my childhood.

I went over to see Darcy's house. It's..small. It's good for her. Not really, it's weird over there. It's like the baad part of town? And you can hear people fight ands tuff. But she wants to be there, she told me that she needed to be away from the middle of town. This is all Jess's fault.

Chris was sick, I didn't see him much this week. We went to the movies yesterday, it was fun. I haven't talked to Emma, but I heard that her and Darc got into it, bad at the mall. It's funny but not funny. Jer-ry. Jer-ry lol

Someone drop me a line, bye!
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2006|07:38 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |blahblah]

Chris came over last night, I haven't seen him awhile. Since the promise ring, which I looove by the way, he has been kind of MIA. That worried me, until last night. Goood last night :)

Poor Darcy, Emma kicked her out so she has no where to go now. I think I wanna ask her to come over here but I don't know how that would go. I don't know how my Mom would feel having a baby around. Maybe Chris could take her in or something for awhile. Or Jess would stop being a tool and just be with her, so she's not emo. I heard she cut herself last night...but Chris wouldn't tell me how badly. It must hurt to be her.

I'll be around tonight, so someone IM me.
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Um.. [Mar. 12th, 2006|03:32 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |confusedconfused]

So..I went shopping today.

Came home with a drunk Jess..Darcy's Jess. I was like freaking out but I didn't tell him I knew her. He doesn't wanna be like his Dad? But he is like his Dad. Just leaving them like that. He said they're getting a divorce or something..that's seriously sad. She's not gonna handle any of this well. Poor girl. I'm trying honey. I'm trying to make him go home, he's living in his car.

Didn't find anything for Chris, yet.
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(no subject) [Mar. 11th, 2006|10:45 am]
Manny <3
[mood |depresseddepressed]

Please, someone smack me. I go to the Rave, I get drunk and hit on everyguy there and then my boyfriend comes and I cause a scene. Seriously, I need to be shot. And I'm pregant..God what the hell am I doing?

Chris took me home, he laid with me til I feel asleep. I really love him for that, it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Why can't I be more like him? Perfect, nice, sweet, amazing. But I have to be rude and stupid and a whore. My head still hurts because of all the shit I did last night.

I don't know if it's Craig's or Dan's or Chris's...maybe I should take the test again to make sure. I'm on the pill!

someone IM me..I need to talk to someone.
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(no subject) [Mar. 8th, 2006|03:29 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |boredbored]

I've been so busy lately, and sick. I've been really sick lately. In the mornings, I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I'm not pregnant, I'm on the pill but it still hurts. I don't know what's wrong, I should go get it checked out.

Chris and I haven't talked in awhile, I miss him. I really love him, but Craig is still in my heart. I hate him so much for just staying there. I wish he'd just go away. And Paige? That slut can die.

Chris, if you see this- call me!
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004 [Feb. 27th, 2006|04:42 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |happyhappy]

So guess who has a freakin' hot boyfriend? Manny. Yes! My streak is over! I got a man. Chris and I are together, and I love it. I love being with someone again. He makes me smile and laugh and feel like a real person again, not just some cute girl. I wanted Craig back, but then I realized he's not for me. And that thing with Dan...I'm over it.

I talked to Emma a little, and Darcy. Proud Moms, they make me happy and wish I kept my baby

Chris and I have been hanging out a lot, even when I got sick. It was really gross, I got a cold. Hopefully it doesn't spread.

Hey, IM me some time.

Paige you can Craig, seriously. Let him hurt you, I don't care anymore.
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(no subject) [Feb. 19th, 2006|10:00 pm]
Manny <3
[mood |boredbored]

I miss Dan.

Anyways, it's cold and it's boring. I remember when school was fun, like in first grade. Now it's a pain in the fucking ass.

I still have to see Emma's baby. I went by and saw Darcy's daughter. She's sweet. Darcy seems really unhappy about everything. It makes me think about what would I have done if I had my baby. That was so long a go though. It would be 2 or 3...but it's over now. It's been over. Just all these babies start bringing up stuff She looks a lot like her Mommy.

Haven't talked to Craig in awhile I miss him or that Dan kid at the Dot.

I'm gonna go hang out with Chris for awhile.
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